When I was a child, I loved as a child.  Without question, without choosing.  As an adult, I must choose.  There comes a time of awakening.   When we realize we have a choice in the matter.  Then we are faced with reviewing our love in the context of our dawning comprehension and understanding.  There, we waver.  We falter.  Until we realize that because we can choose, we are free to love even when it is hard and it hurts.