Patience is a virtue….

…..which I do not possess much of, and a friend loveth at all times, even before coffee and breakfast.

So, I’m relaxing this morning about seven thirty, knowing I don’t have to go anywhere to take anyone to a doctor or court, or to get another key made because they broke another one, laundry is caught up, groceries are got, and house is fairly in order. So my plan is; I’m finally going to tackle my highlights, right after I make those last few appointments I still need to make, dentist, dermatologist, ophthalmologist, when “a friend” calls. A very special friend, more like family. She is moving today and tomorrow and she has just bought a little grocery cart from the little Ace hardware here in town, and wondered if I’m up for a visit, as she thought maybe I would not mind helping her assemble her new purchase. They offered to do it for her at the hardware store, she said, but they told her it would take thirty minutes and she didn’t want to wait.

Ok. A little background here; I am so non-mechanical, have I mentioned this about me? I am extremely spatially challenged. You know the aptitude tests with the cog, and the other cog, and the other cog, and that other cog, and if the first cog turns counter-clockwise, which way will the third cog go? My answer to that is “Green”.

I mean, zero aptitude in this kind of thing, do I have, BUT, I do know how to follow directions, if only I can manage to translate the two-dimensional image mentally to where it will have some kind of semblance to the three-dimensional actual pieces parts. Of which there were several, and yet, ironically, not as many as there should have been!

So hubby swoops in with thirty minutes before time for him to walk out the door for his job, and his intention being to save me a meltdown, does his thing that he and all men do, which thing never involves consulting with directions and counting parts to make sure they are all there before you start, because, well, it is always his experience that there are generally parts leftover, you know, the “extras”.

He is moving along, puzzling here and there, gets one axle and wheels, with springs, cotter pins, and washers all done, and then takes a look at the other axle only to realize it is not long enough for the back of the cart, and thus, hmm, well, “I think I may have put the wrong axle on here”, says he.

This proclamation coincides with the hands on the clock moving into the five-minutes-past-when-he usually-leaves” position, so I say, “Hon, you’re late, you really have to go” (get him off the hook, so he doesn’t have to do the thing he hates doing worst in the world, which is to actually say to someone “sorry, cant”.) No, it’s not that he loves doing stuff for people so much that it pains him when he can’t (not that he’s an ogre either, he doesn’t mind). It’s just anything to do with the slightest prospect of disappointing, failing to meet expectations, that sort of thing. Though in this case, it is a very dear friend of the family, so he probably does genuinely hate to let her down, and also, he knows just how insane the whole endeavor is going to turn when I have my go at it.

The friend also had an appointment to get the key to the new place at nine, and left about fifteen minutes later, while I was still in the inventory and “recon” phase of the project, which is probably for the best because the only thing I’m worse at than trying to figure out how to put something like that together, is trying to put it together while someone is chattering. This is a factor of so many of my “bouquet” of physical and mental processing challenges that even those who know me well and what my daily challenges are, can never fully grasp.

So now, I’m up to bat. And since I wasn’t privy to what the various pre-assembled components looked like when they came out of the package, nor did I watch what hubby did, since I was busy playing hostess and making coffee for our guest, I had to both study the instructions and parts, and figure out what the flyingbluemonkies he did wrong and how to undo that, before I could start figuring out how to do it right.

So two hours later, (three hours after our guest had actually arrived) I’ll have you know I had that sucker licked!

Even if there were three pieces of sturdy 16 Gauge copper jewelry wire (which didn’t come cheap, lemme tell ya) in places where there should have been three other cotter pins, but hey, it’s all together, and works!

I only stopped six or eight times to get sensation back in my arms and legs, and also to deal with a dog wanting out, and in, and back out, and a Fed Ex guy, oh, and take a couple of pieces off again when I couldn’t figure out that clip-thingy that was on there apparently when it came out of the box, but how did I know? Since that portion apparently was formerly assembled, there was no “how to” in the instructions for figuring that part out, but alls well that ends. And boy am I glad.

I did finally get to finish my coffee and now I’m going to have my breakfast in hopes that the shaking will pass so I can actually think.

I love my friend…! I LOVE my FRIEND..! I LOVE MY FRIEND. My friend is a special friend. I truly and dearly love my Friend.. .I really really remember that I do love My Friend.. And my hubby.

(But the jury is definitely still out on that pesky dog right now).