This weekend was the set date for my husband’s dad to move into assisted living. Needless to say it was a weekend that was anticipated with dread, and a bit stressful for everyone. I often put up a lot of posts on either Sunday night or Monday morning,(in this case, last night) so today for the sake of calm, I finished the project pictured below. My little sculpted tree, woven out of copper wire and a little brass and stainless steel wire for variation. I used Swarovski crystals for the sparkles, and some bits of copper chain to give it a bit of a “weeping willow” feel. I will use it to hang my earrings on, probably. I am trying to work my way up to getting out the paints again. My husband bought me a nice canvas and some new paints and brushes at Christmas, but I told him it would likely be spring or summer before I take on a painting. So, I’ll let you guys know if I get into it. Maybe record the progress in snapshots. Working with my jewelry-making things, and painting, are the only two things I have discovered that enable me to turn off my busy mind from all the different thoughts that are always running through like a television that never gets shut off. When I am “in the zone” doing either of those things, I have no concept of time passing whatsoever. It is enjoyable in that aspect, but with my Fibromyalgia and the joint pain I also have, I don’t tolerate extended periods of activity like that very well anymore, and so I hesitate to get everything out. I haven’t written about my bouquet of challenges on here in a very long time, mostly because I do my best to not focus on them, so I only write and/or talk about them sometimes during periods when they are all conspiring against me at once, and for extended periods, because when that is going on for a prolonged period, I sometimes just need to vent a little. It all started when I was thirty, and took a long time to get properly diagnosed. It has also taken me a lot of years to know how to manage everything to prevent the flare-ups. So these days I am at a certain level of relief but I also am pretty limited on how much I can do. Which is why I am able to do so much of the reading and blogging. Seven specific conditions, none by themselves is necessarily always debilitating, but the combination there-of, well, it adds up. In terms of the impact, it effects my energy level most of all, and stamina, my physical strength, moods, concentration, memory, stress tolerance, and social interaction due to several factors, one of which is pretty significant hearing loss. Though, it’s funny, few people actually realize how profound my hearing problem is. I am pretty good at lip-reading. Or at least I was until my eyes started going too. I’m not complaining, though, I am very thankful the Lord led me to the right doctors over time, and everybody has something they have to contend with. I survived the roughest years while raising my babies. One thing it did for me, though, was made it a lot easier for me to realize how much I need the Lord and how to depend on Him. And my anticipation of my Heavenly Home grew all the more heightened, at a younger age, stripping out any love for the things of this world and putting my focus on eternity. I can say with all sincerity that it is a blessing to have had that perspective early in life, and to hold loosely to even the best things of Earthly life as a Christian, and more accepting of whatever life brings, even when it is sadness.

I suppose that is why I am so frank, as well. When you have little strength or energy, and even conversing can be kind of exhausting, you learn to just say what needs saying. I had life experiences before the illnesses which contributed to that as well, though. It’s been a rocky path most of the way for me in adulthood, but at the end of it all, I don’t think I would have changed much, because I’ve learned a lot of valuable lessons and all of my experiences add up to who I am today. I have learned that although we have choices and options in life, if we belong to the Lord, He directs our steps. I like to say it’s like those bumpers that the bowling alley can raise up on either side of the lanes when there is a kid party, that serve to limit how far the ball can go. We decide a lot of things about the “roll” we toss in life, but God has boundaries and limits around us, and that is why He is able to work all things together for good.

Well, there I go again with the meandering stream of consciousness.

I have joked before about needing a “defragmenter” for my brain, but the truth is, sleep is the defragmenter of our brains, so I shouldn’t be too surprised with my sleep disorders, that mine is so chaotic all the time. When my doctor evaluated my sleep study for the Narcolepsy, he said he had never seen brain waves as chaotic as mine, and that he would NOT want to be trying to function with what I had going on. LOL. I said, “yeah, tell me about it. Try living with it”.

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