I don’t like what I am seeing in the world right now, but at least things are moving, prophecy-wise. Surely it can’t be much longer til that trumpet sounds!  I really don’t feel like I can take it much longer, but I’m striving to continue to occupy. Ya’ll pray for me! Really struggling lately.

oc·cu·py: from Latin occupare, from ob  (toward) and cupare (to capture or seize); to engage, take up, to fill, to take hold or possession, or control of, to fulfill or perform the functions of, to reside in.

It is our job to go toward the world and engage them for Christ, and our knowledge of the coming tribulation and His soon return, should serve to overcome any hesitancy on our part to do so. My heart is grieving over so many things. For our Jewish “cousins”, for all the innocent people that become collateral damage. So tired of wars.   My heart is grieved for trafficked children and adults. My heart is grieved for people around me that are headed for hell and even for those who blatantly reject any mention of Jesus and their need for salvation, because they are blinded.  My heart is grieved, as I know yours are, for America, and for rampant apostasy in the churches.

My feelings run from frustration and resentment of those pastors who have failed as shepherds in their duties, to shame over my own years of not grasping the gravity of the eternal aspects and implications of this life. I have always tended to see the black and white of things, a sort of all or nothing approach except that I will get discouraged when things look bleak, and lose sight of doing what I can do, because I’m so overwhelmed about the things I wish I could change, but can’t.  It is all a matter of perspective and for years I have worked very hard focusing on that  one thing we have power over; perspective! if you can’t change a situation, you can always change the way you are looking at it.  But a funny thing about living with chronic fatigue is that your perspective is the thing affected by fatigue.

We’ve all been through our fair share of trials.  I understand and appreciate that they are for our own good in ways we don’t immediately recognize.  There is a saying that whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.  I’m not so sure about that any more.  I think that in God’s “logic” or “economy” the goal is not to make you stronger, but less self-sufficient, and ever more cognizant of the absolute necessity of leaning upon Him in all things, at all times.  That is not appealing for our egos.  We find ourselves begging, “yeah, I get it Lord, but couldn’t you let me feel just a little strong?”.  We should take it as an indication of His intent for us, when He rarely if ever seems to “let up” on us.

Curiously a “near-antonym” of occupy is; to weary (as in do not be weary in well-doing, for in due time we shall reap if we faint-not).   My prayer today is that to be refreshed, and that He adjust my perspective in whatever way and by whatever means is necessary, so that I can not only continue to decisively occupy, but do so with a renewed awareness of His sufficiency in me.

Rest in the Lord, feast on His Word, pour your heart out to Him.  Sometimes He wants us  to rest in the shade, take a little nourishment, and not get back up until we are restored, in other words, to “Be still and know that He is God”!  Sometimes I gotta preach that to myself!