If you have been with me here at Servehiminthewaiting for a while, you know that the foundation of the blog is faith in the Lord Jesus, and my personal experience of walking with Him as my Lord and Savior through day-to-day life. I am prone to break away from all the news from time to time just to chit-chat a little about life, and whatever the Lord is teaching me at the moment. Usually through circumstances. And as far as “circumstances” go, I feel safe in saying 2012 has been a record year for our family, (read about it in my early archives back in March through June) however I think that a huge number of other people can say the very same thing right now. If you’re not going through something really big yourself, someone in your immediate circle is, probably several someones.
From the end of 2011 to June of this year, my own health took a very bad turn with medical conditions I already had, exacerbating to a new level so significant as to have us looking for yet another possible diagnosis like auto-immune disorders. What causes a flare like that is yet a mystery for doctors, but Fibromyalgia plus Narcolepsy with Cataplexy, plus arthritis and back problems and Bipolar, toss in a very immoderate “re-do” of our basement as a teenage hang-out place for the boys, 2 deaths in the past 3 months of a very dear friend and neighbor and then of my Dad, and this week’s news feels like it’s simply the “next thing” because that is life and it’s just how it is now. God never promised us a rose garden. He promised we would have trouble and trials and tribulations.
My husband had not been feeling well for a few months. We both figured after the stress we’ve had, he was “just run down” as we say here in the South. A few weeks ago he had what he thought was a stomach bug, which has been going around. He also noticed when he raked leaves he was getting awful short of breath with not a whole lot of exertion. He has also been having restless leg issues at night, that have kept him awake or at least from getting a really restful night. It is nearly impossible to get this man to make a doctor’s appointment, but when he left work early on Tuesday, I sent him straight back out the door to the local Doc-in-the-Box (Patient First).
The doctor there was on his toes. He drew a basic CBC and discovered his Hemoglobin was low. Dangerously low. So off to the E.R., which became an admission, followed by 2 days of various unpleasant preps and tests, which led to the diagnosis of Colon Cancer we got on the same day as that horrible school shooting. A day like that after a year like that is enough to break a person, but thank our good God, He carries us, holds us up, and takes us through.
You’d think as a former hospice/oncology nurse with GI experience, I’d be scared to death. I know the statistics. I know the treatment.
I have not had one twinge of fear thus far. And here is the crazy part. I know what shock and dissociating feel like, because as a survivor of sexual assault, I have experienced shock. That is not what this is. It is peace. That peace the Bible talks about, you know, the one that surpasses all understanding.
When he first came back from the final test where they found the tumor, his nurse was dreading speaking to me, she later said. She is a new nurse, young, expecting her second baby, and it was the day of the elementary school shooting. It was too much. She had been told by the reporting nurse from endoscopy how large the tumor was. (The word “massive” was used.) But when she told me, I just said, “ok, that’s all I need to know right now, thank you.” We waited a very long time to hear from the doctor himself, and he didn’t mince words. “This is serious, I want to keep you here, and lets get this thing taken care of”. My husband was a little shocky the first day that we found out there was a tumor, but it was another 24 hours before we had that in-depth discussion with the surgeon and knew all there was to know. Including pictures. By that time, my husband had also entered into that peace which comes when Christian brothers and sisters are praying for you.
We will not know until after surgery, in which they remove 8 inches of his colon, what the “bottom line prognosis” is. They will take lymph nodes. The tumor is 2-3 years old already. And is right by the liver. Thankfully there does not seem to be any liver involvement at this point. All histology/pathology should be in by midweek this week.
Our boys, 16 and 14, are taking it like the troupers they are, and our family and church are all aware and praying, and we know they are there for us. Garrett and I are watching for what good things God is preparing to bring out of this because that is what He promises; that all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purposes.
We realize the most serious implications and possibilities, and we know that God is sufficient no matter the outcome. But we believe we are fixing to see God do something amazing in our lives and through this. Again, no matter the outcome. Because if the Lord takes my husband home, though it would be hard, though it would be terribly painful, I know that I know, it will be okay. He will take care of us. And oh how happy I would be for my husband. Jealous, yeah, like when my Dad died, that he too will have seen Jesus face to face. But I will have the Holy Spirit Comforter here with me and the boys. So it’ll be okay because Jehovah Jirah is my provider and His grace is sufficient. Praise God in the good, praise Him in the bad, praise His Holy Name because He is worthy of that praise.
So of course, we ask for your continued prayers. Pray for the doctors and nurses, that God, our Great Physician, will use them as His own hands to perform the surgery. That His wisdom will be in them, and that God’s will be done. Pray for me that I will keep sleeping well, keep clear-headed, and have the stamina I need to keep up with things around home while he recoups, and pray for the process of filing the proper paperwork with his job, and all insurances will cover things as they are supposed to, including (Praise the Lord) short-term disability, as he will be out of work until sometime in January.
And if you happen to be reading this, and do not know the Lord as your Savior, I want you to know that this is the kind of God I serve. He is mighty and powerful and loving, and righteous. There are tabs above my blog-stream that will tell you more about how you can know Him too.