I need a disk defragmenter for my brain!

computerbrain(Image Source)

When I was pregnant with my first child, I noted that with each passing month, my memory got worse and worse. I was reassured by many experienced mom’s that this is not uncommon in pregnancy. So I tried not to worry about it much. Then after having the baby, and being sleep deprived as all new parents are, I didn’t worry about it too much when my memory had not improved in the months after the baby was born. And so it goes, another baby 2 years later, and as many readers know, I was eventually diagnosed with sleep disorders and my brainwaves officially declared “chaotic” by a member of the medical profession with numerous and sufficient credentials to back up the claim.

Now, it was disturbing enough that during my first baby shower, the lady who won the “memory game” was my eighty-year-old neighbor, but in a room full of younger moms, most within short time spans from their own recent (some even current) pregnancies, I was surprised, but not all that alarmed by the fact that the octogenarian had the best memory.

What I have since come to notice, is that my teenagers have memories that are as poor as my own. So do most dads and so do most twentysomething’s and thirtysomething’s that I know. So what is up with that?

Well, here is the thing. Let me put on my nurse hat for a minute and maybe I can shed some light on things. Our brains actually do work similarly to the way a computer does. Granted it is more like the first computer that took up an entire wing, they are not nearly as efficient.

But in terms of memory, our brains are constantly taking in, processing and filing information. However, we now live in a world that is “never unplugged” and that prides itself on our multi-tasking abilities. But just like a computer that has numerous files stored all over the place in an un-integrated fashion, the occasional de-fragmenting becomes necessary in order to “optimize” performance. When the CPU has to run hither and yon, gathering together all the pertinent bits and pieces of a file before a program can run, well, it gets sloppy and gummed up.

De-fragmenter scans all the files and finds all the pieces-parts and consolidates fragments of individual files into one convenient location along with all the other pieces of that file, and the result is a more efficient performance.

I am not computer-trained in any way, other than the “learn by experience” method, so this is my own summation of how de-fragmenter works, and is undoubtedly not as astute as one you might find in “The Idiots Guide to Computers”, but as I’ve said before, I won’t let that stop me from speaking on the topic, lol.

When we function all the time with half our brain engaged in one task, and a quarter of our brain listening to the ear-buds, and another slice of our brain watching the news, our brain takes all those “files” and because the attention is so divided when we “lay down” those “memory tracks” we should not be that surprised that when we go to retrieve them, we can’t immediately “put our fingers on them” easily. They’ve been thrown in the old file box “all helter-skelter.   Anyone who relies on a really good secretary/administrative assistant, knows how crucial it is to have a neat and orderly filing system.

As far as I can tell, there are a handful of octogenarian left out there who just may be the only ones on Planet Earth who still have efficiently functioning memories. That is likely because they laid most of their memory tracks before iPods, PC’s, smart phones, or even televisions and existed. And they may also be the few hold-outs that aren’t embracing those things today. Mind you, many if not most folks of that age are as progressive as the young’uns and they are as much into all of the techno-gadgets as anyone else. So, for older readers, when that doctor brings up the “A” word, (or the “D” word, whichever one he may use) don’t get too worked up about it. It’s probably not Alzheimers or Dementia, and when your kids start picking out nursing homes, just challenge them to a memory test.  Likely you will beat them hands-down, but if by chance you do not, then just reassure them that all you really need is a de-fragmenter, and then sweetly offer to loan it to them anytime.

So, where does one go to find a de-fragmenter for one’s brain? Cuz, I could really use one! Seriously. Does anyone know?