I read that quip somewhere recently and I love it, because it is so true.
We believe in setting rules. We made them and enforced them. Well, I enforced them. Papa Bear is more like a Tootsie Pop. Crusty on the outside but all soft and gooey in the middle. Yeah, we believe in rules, but also providing the why (rationale) and what the consequences are if not followed. Rules minus reasons results in rebellion. You give your kids motivation when you give them more than “Because I said so and I am the parent”. You give them a vote. Some autonomy. They will be able to visualize, and extrapolate for themselves these potential consequences, and can see it is indeed reasonable to abide by that rule. This is even more true for strong willed independent kids. They are often very intelligent, and already have their ideas about a specific choice they want to make. For that kid, you need to state the rule, and ask them if they can think of reasons why abiding by the rule would be good, other than avoiding punishment.
Kids are thinkers. I mean, born thinkers, bursting with curiosity and all those brain cells and neurons and dendrites, and synapses, raring to record as much information as that kid can get them exposed to. You want your child to learn music and how to play an instrument or how to sing? Start from the earliest age they are physically capable. It doesn’t have to even be formal early on, just create a space in the child’s days and mind, for music and learning about singing and playing the instrument. The music itself will capture their heart. When they are really little, use inexpensive toy versions, or even imaginary ones. Once that niche for music is “set” and carried through consistently, will consider it part of self. So of course they will progress, in keeping with abilities and age, unless they develop a passion for something else, like sports, that they are even better at, gifted. Then they might drop music training, because there are only so many hours in a day. The benefits of music training for a child’s ability to learn, are already set by the time they get older, and you want to encourage things they are gifted in. Everybody is gifted in something. Finding what that is for your child gives them a head start on getting there and tells you what to prioritize their time for.
Same goes with language. You want a kid who is bilingual, or trilingual, speak to them in those languages. Teach them words and meanings, not as in “ok, let’s speak and practice our German today”, just use all of the languages you know (or want to learn yourself) in conversations. Which words belong to which language can be sorted out later. Your goal is to teach your child how to learn, taking advantage of their limitless curiosity and keep it going through every age and stage until they are grown. This doesn’t even necessarily need much planning. It is a matter of mindset. Yours!
Thing is, when one is merely a me, not yet a we, he or she can think on the fly, because there is no one else needing to be considered but yourself in most of your choices. It gets a little more complex when you get married and more so when you have kids.
That is for new parents, and all potential near-future moms and dads. These are just a few things I wish I had known and understood when I started out. It is true what they say, “by the time you have learned how to live, it’s too late to do you any good”. Hindsight doesn’t do much for the person who is looking back, but if you can find a young ear willing to listen, it can do them some good, if they are wise enough to see the value of advice from someone who has done it already. A lot of things change with each passing generation. A lot of things don’t change with passing generations as well.
Modern schooling is what teaches kids not to think for themselves. Why do you think the government doesn’t want charter schools, and home schooling (well, before Covid, anyway, now it is the only option if you believe anything and everything they say about Covid.
We have traded many truly good practices and ways, for “new”. we have swallowed the programming that says “new is better”. Occasionally it is, but most of the time, it isn’t. The Bible says that “there is nothing new under the sun”. There are only new people doing and experiencing the same age-old things.
Used to be, mom’s were at home, and dad’s could earn a salary that could feed, clothe, house a family. Where did that go? Why did it go? It disappeared based on lies. That’s where it went. Satan whispered in the ears of the woman, just like in the garden, telling her she was being cheated. And once the trend got going in that direction, it’s hard to stop. Women postponed or renounced marriage altogether. Some of them had kids and raised them by themselves. Christians started accepting divorce and there was no longer any shame in it. Shame always a bad thing. It has a purpose. A society is only as strong as it’s families. There was a time when shame could move a person to go back to what is right. Now people think the only thing that is shameful is to shame someone. We would not be in a position of borrowing from the future, if there had been more babies 20 years ago. And thirty and forty. Now a family is three where it used to be 8, 10, 12, even more. Of course abortion has a lot to do with that. And then the next generation had 4 or 3 kids, and then it was one. That’s way fewer people working and paying taxes and funding social security.
Women’s “liberation”. Freedom from children, and marriage. They didn’t factor in a few things though. They traded children for careers, not considering that motherhood is intrinsic because God included it in His design for humanity, and that even if they had other ambitions, and no maternal urges whatsoever, that could change in a few years. They also didn’t consider that their career might disappear some day, through a debilitating car wreck, or a biological glitch that doesn’t affect you until you are nearly 40. Who will help when the disease reaches it’s worst stage, incapacitation. Your career can’t hug you, bathe you, make it bearable by their love.
God’s design in all that He created has good, sound logic behind it.
God’s laws do too. It isn’t for His sake. It isn’t to control you. The reason for the law God gave us is safety. Yes, safety. What happens to your good sewing scissors when someone uses them to cut wire? Oh they’ll cut the wire. They will never cut fabric properly again. They lost a lot of potential. They might have lasted a decade. Ruined now! Things exist because there was a need. Things made for one purpose don’t fare well if they are used in a way not intended.
What happens when there is sex without marriage? There are many things. None of which result in happiness. Pleasure for a moment, but happiness? No, and it’ll cost you. Consequences! God didn’t sit around coming up with them. They just are. That’s because that particular bad choice is contrary to God’s design.
God designed sex as a gift to us. It also spiritually merges two people. Two become one. Let me make the point using a less loaded topic.
Say you buy a beautiful new car. Your daughter sees the car, and gets angry because It just so happens she wanted this very car. She has been working extra hours every chance she gets, not going to movies, or buying clothes or makeup because that’s how much she wants that car, and has almost enough for a very good down payment. It isn’t new, but it is in great shape and she likes how it looks, and the color and everything, it’s just perfect, it is “the one”!
When she sees that you have purchased the car, you see something flicker across her face, but you are having a hard time interpreting it. Something happened at school, probably, you think, and carry on with your task.
The next morning, your daughter is sullen and silent at breakfast. You ask if she is sick, and she gives a half-shrug and a mumble.
You figure teenagers are going to be surly now and then, and don’t press further.
Later that evening, when you get home from work, you don’t see her shoes by the door like normal, so you make point when you go upstairs to change from work clothes, to walk to the other end of the hallway to see if she is home, and as you approach her partly open door, you hear her talking to someone on her phone. Something about someone who “knew that was mine, and took it anyway”. Not in a frame of mind to deal with a moody teen this night, you about-face and tiptoe back the other way to your own room, change, and go start supper. When the meal is ready, you text her it’s ready, and sit down to wait for her so you can pray before you eat, but she isn’t coming down. You look at your phone, she hasn’t responded that way, and you heave a heavy sigh, too tired to get up again and breaking your own rule you holler for her to come down, adding the fact that you missed lunch because of a last minute meeting at work and are starved. Two more minutes later, you throw up your hands, and shout “Fine, I’m eating” and mumble quietly “you can eat yours cold”. You say grace, make quick work of it and then rinse things off, put the food away, load the dishwasher, and head for a shower, after which you crawl into bed and do a little reading.
Next thing you know, you are startled awake by a soft thud, and realize two things. You nodded off, and someone left several of the lights on. You think about getting up, but you are soooo comfortable, so you just huff and turn over. You are startled awake yet again a few hours later, this time by your ringing phone. Seeing it is 2:15 in the morning, you answer with trepidation, and find out your daughter has been in a wreck. You rush to meet the ambulance at the hospital, and driving past the ER entrance, you spot your daughter, perfectly fine, laughing with the nice-looking EMT. You are so relieved, you forget to be angry that your child snuck out alone at night without telling you, but it’s starting to register now. She starts talking before you even get to her, and it takes a bit for you to hear and process what she is telling you. Finally, she slows down enough to make sense and you get the picture. Sort of.
“I still don’t understand the part about the car. What car, who was driving?”, you ask.
I drove my car here. It’s right there, honey, are you sure you are ok? Maybe that EMT was right, better safe than sorry…..
No, Mom, your car. Your NEW car.
And then all the pieces fall into place!
“HONEY THAT WAS NOT MY CAR”, you shout! Lowering your volume a little, you continue; where is it, where did it happen? Who was driving? What were ya’ll doing out at this hour anyway……
She interrupts your windup with “The cop said it’s totaled, but I don’t think it is, just one fender is crumpled up, and the tire is busted, and the windshield has a crack….she notices you you look pale as you lower your head and run your fingers through your bedhead hair, a well-known thing you do when you are really mad, or sad,. or disappointed.
Without lifting your head, your hair hiding your expression, and in the quietest voice she has ever heard you use, you ask, “why, Hannah?”
HANNAH MORIAH NAHON YOU BETTER START USING SOME WORDS OR I WILL……
I was mad at you, okay!
“Mooom!”, she stretches the word out to 3 syllables and 5 notes, punctuated by an “uh” at the end so you know how clueless that you are, and clearly incredulous. “Are you serious right now? What the actual heck do you think I was mad about? YOU BOUGHT THE EXACT CAR I HAVE BEEN SAVING UP, THE WHOLE YEAR FOR!!!!! YOU knew it was the one I wanted and you got it anyway for yourself!!!!!
I was mad at you and I thought at least it could be mine for a little while. I was going to just drive like, over to the school, and then come straight back and park it, and put the keys where you hid them. You wouldn’t even have known, if this stupid night didn’t happen!
“Hannah, God sees you when you do that stuff, even if I don’t. And you should be grateful He saw fit to spare you your life!
There is something else you need to know, Hannah. That is actually NOT my car! There’s a long silence and and she looks at you blankly and blinks a few times, then she asks:
It’s not my car, Hannah.
Then whose is it?
I was so proud of how hard you worked to save your money, and I got an unexpected bonus at work. I bought the car for you. You’ll be going off to college soon, and you can save that money to take with you.
She starts to cry, and says “at least insurance will fix it”!
No. Hannah, I only bought liability. It’s used and pretty old. Not really worth a full policy.
Her tears and sniffles turn to full-on sobs.
And that is why you don’t have sex outside of marriage!
Ok, I know I wrote that weird thing a few months ago, and you were all wondering what tha flyingbluemonkies, but this is not that. (And that actually had a different purpose, a way to communicate with someone that can’t….well, never mind.)
I am being silly, but my point is, Someone had a gift meant for you, and without considering the consequences, you decided to “open that gift” before it was actually given, and now look where you are, is my point!
Yes, you can use it when you have “that talk” with your kid. The concept wasn’t original to me. I forget where I heard or read it, but it really struck me as an example a teen can understand.
I have said “I forgot where I heard that” an awful lot lately. Is it just me? Are ya’ll getting slug-brained too? I think the whiplash of 2020 as well as the week-long days of 2021 we have endured thus far, might have cause some dain bramage.
I can’t handle the news anymore. I’m serious. Even on the NewsMax and other conservative outlets and publications, all Biden all the time. I miss Trump. I am thinking about writing him and Melania a letter. Yeah. They feel like that, right? Long lost family you had only just discovered before they moved to outer Mongolia forever.
Time is silly-putty like now. Have you noticed? Do you think it is because they are messing around with CERN? Spacetime continuum being tinkered with by people who are just as insane as the Democrats in congress, maybe?
That was a joke, but it kind of isn’t. I’ll have to ask one of my physicist friends. That also was a joke. I don’t know any physicists.
It snowed in California, and there was a tornado in Alabama. Isn’t it a little late for tornadoes? The Earth is indeed out of sorts. Israel readying themselves for war with Iran. Iran fights Israel from Syria. That is why Israel is always defending itself from them, which is why they bomb there so often. Like the fake news here, you don’t hear what the bad guys are up to. Gotta villify the country that provides medical care to enemy soldiers who are wounded on or near the border.
Israel is surrounded by enemy forces. Hezbollah is headquartered in Lebanon. Hamas in Gaza. Hezbollah has 120,000 or more projectiles in their arsenal. They can bomb anywhere in Israel. PIJ( Palestinian Islamic Jihad) is there, Hamas has s virtual city underground of networked tunnels for moving troops and weapons, and other supplies. They have military units in every city, ready to be called into action, including elite forces (Nukhbah). In Syria (to the North) are armies of the far North (Russian troops) as well, The Houtis in Yemen, Iranian troops in Iraq. Yep. All surrounded. Of course the Russians have the subs. Can’t forget the seaward approach.
Israel can’t afford to play around anymore. They are tight in their strategies, but they can’t fight in every direction especially when bombs can reach every part. They are going to go on the offensive, and they aren’t going to be taking prisoners. It’s obliteration or nothing. Which is probably the means by which Damascus, what remains of it, will become an uninhabitable ruinous heap.
Oh, the impeachment is on. Nancy needs to experience a military torture that involve water and a board. I’m not sayin’. I’m just sayin. You know? These people are so evil they are like old King Nubuchadnezzar. God has given them over and let them be just as stupid as they want to get How many of them will be humbled by it and repent? Probably none. We sit out here as Christians who know Bible Prophecy, and we can actually laugh about it. That’s what God is doing. It says so in Psalm 2:4! He mocks them.
Oh, did you hear about Trump’s “Office of the former President”? It’s so funny because I only heard it this morning, but just yesterday I was having that same thought myself. That he should just set up a pretend office like Joe did, and call it that, and run our side from there.
I think Trump got saved, for real.
That sermon I posted yesterday sounded like it was being preached today. But it wasn’t. I think it was during Clinton’s presidency. I had barely started paying any serious attention to politics when He was in office, but I was depressed about it all 8 years. But at least I got to talk to Rush Limbaugh!
We are going to lose him, you know? He said he’s fighting the cancer but it’s winning. But you never know. Prayer could change it.
If you find strange letters and multiple letters inside a word they don’t belong to, it is because my new laptop (Thank You, Lord, and hubby) has a much bigger touchpad than I am used to, and it is super duper sensitive so that if I barely brush my palm against it, the page goes crazy. The cursor jumps, and then there is a save that happens every few seconds, so if it happens during that, the cursor disappears. Also, the motion of typing causes the page to minimize and max up again, and minimize, again, several times in quick succession. I guess I will eventually learn how to not do that. Maybe there is a setting? Is there a setting for the sensitivity of the touch pad? ‘
Why did you answer that out loud? You know I can’t hear you, right?
Well, ya’ll tune your ears to heaven’s frequency. I do believe we are going to hear that shofar soon. That’s a sweet thought to dwell on when your head hits the pillow at day’s end.