From the heart

I know we are getting down to the wire, and as developments took a big leap last week, that pattern may be here to stay until the end.

I haven’t talked about my medical stuff in a long time. It’s one thing when you have a bit of a barrier, communicating for the sake of maybe helping someone dealing with similar challenges, but not face to face. Most people aren’t going to probe, they may ask general questions in an effort to learn about the conditions, but they aren’t likely to get personal. I have always found it beneficial to read and hear someone else’s story, and I feel it is a generosity when someone opens up about their experiences. That is so much more informative than doctorspeak. I figure there are others who learn better that way, same as me. But sometimes, in an attempt to give some support to others, you know, casting your bread upon the waters, to see what God does with it, there are people who will use such information to hurt you. Didn’t see that coming.

My story is my story. Whether it is sad or hard or happy. I know what I have been through, and God knows how it felt.

People can also cause pain without knowing it. People who are wide open about everything, might assume everybody is like them. I have met enough people, and conversed with people of all walks of life, to understand that the way various people view things, and the way different individuals perceive things not only can be vastly different, I would go so far as saying the array of how any  one person functions is not at all like any other person. Like your fingerprints and DNA. God makes us each so unique.

I have people I can talk to about everything and anything, but I think almost everybody has someone they can’t tell things, as well. If you don’t know that, you are in for some hurt.

I used to need to talk. A lot. Before I needed to talk, I actually enjoyed talking to people. You have to be careful about who you talk to when you need to talk. There will be some who may think just because you shared it with them, they are free to talk about it, with you and even with other people. There are people who would never repeat something but they still assume that if you shared something, it is fine for them to talk about it with you, bring it up any time they speak to you. The same goes with prayer requests. It may take a lot of courage to ask someone to pray about some things. That still doesn’t constitute an invitation to bring it back man’s curiosity is another man’s prying. Be careful with responding to an email from someone with a bad memory, too. I once had someone divulge something about themselves to me, that they regret terribly and I responded  to that exact email, with the principle that when it comes to things we regret, we gotta get over ourselves. Jesus died to take that guilt off our record, how dare we believe we should beat our own self up over it AFTER he bought our freedom from that yoke of guilt? Unfortunately, somehow she did not realize that my email was a direct response to hers in which she shared it, and she was highly offended that I “brought it back up”.  That wasn’t the first time a misunderstanding happened. Electronic communication is definitely not ideal. My mistake was in trying to clear it up. The Bible tells us if we let something like that pass, He will defend clear our name publicly. But most times we don’t give Him the opportunity.

My opinion these days is that  talking is overrated!

Problem-Solvers will make suggestions, whether you want them or not, when all you want is to vent. Easygoing people will sometimes say something meant to cheer you up, and that could make some folks feel, having divulged something painful, the easier-going person is being dismissive or flippant. They probably aren’t, they may relate, but are sicially clumsy.

Misunderstandings are rampant. True communication is dying.

Then there are people who are extremely empathetic, and probably to a certain point, that can be affirming, because sometimes you just want to feel understood. But there is such a thing as being empathetic to a degree that crosses a line. If you emote over a struggle someone has told you they are dealing with, and you are more sad/angry/appalled/indignant/fearful on their behalf than  they even are, that crosses a line that makes it about you instead of about their struggle, or their need of affirmation or support, or advice and therefore may offend the person who did the confiding. It may seem counter-intuitive, but the result of it is that the person whose struggle it is, may feel like you are taking a liberty that they don’t even permit themselves to have. If you are the kind of person who refuses to feel sorry for yourself, works at not complaining, staying positive, reminds yourself your burdens are lighter than that of many others, and if  the person whom you open up to is less oriented to the greater world outside their experiences, it may feel selfish to you, because your struggle is not “theirs” to emote over.  (Would that be called emotional appropriation?)

We all judge motives, moods, attitudes and meanings, reactions, even facial expressions and tone using our own typical motives, moods, attitudes and meanings, reactions, expressions and tones under the same or similar circumstances as our measuring stick.

That may be almost inevitable to a degree, but it is a good thing to always keep in mind that even two people from the same family, have totally different life experiences, and totally different temperaments, and those experiences and temperaments are a  huge influence on our own perceptions.

In a society and age of the internet, interpersonal interaction has changed a lot, in a short amount of time. Communication between two 80-year olds was always different from that of communication between two thirty-somethings, but in this present juncture of human history, the technological leap that happened during that 50 year age difference is so exponential that it is a wonder a 30-something and an 80-something don’t require a 55 year old to translate. In fact, it would probably need to be a a 47 year old and a 66 year old, because one 55 year old wouldn’t be familiar enough with ether extreme of the age range, to sufficiently translate.

We have language barriers between nations, but someone invented an app that lets you speak your language into your device, and the app translates it so the other party hears it in their own native language! Is there an age barrier language gap app yet? Somebody better get on it!

You might be a senior citizen if…. you can have an entire conversation about ailments and generation gaps.

I never wanted to get old. Maybe that stems from having been an RN. An RN whose first several years in nursing was hospice.

Did you know there are states in America where euthanasia is legal?CA, CO, HI, ME, NJ, OR, VT, WA, also DC. Montana allows it but only by court order, and they otherwise have no protocol regarding who may request it. The problem with that is, who petitions the court? So far, of the cases I have read about in Europe at least, it has mostly been the hospital who wants to use that bed for a patient who can get well, and go on to “contribute to society”. They will deny the parents wishes, and even in cases where there are available options for care elsewhere,  judges have refused to allow that child to be removed from the hospital to get that care. Judges, they expect you to address them with “your honor”, but few are honorable anymore.

Take note, America.Medical care will be like that here soon at this rate. When the government is both footing the bill and deciding who gets to die, it tends to fall in the favor of the state, not the individual. Thus far in America, other than in Montana, the decision is between the patient and doctor, but the patient must request it at least 3 times, once in writing, and requests must be a certain number of days apart. Generally 15 or 20.

Having been a cancer nurse, tends to give you an up close and personal perspective. I believe God gives life and He is the rightful one to decide when it is to end. However, when you are either the suffering patient, or the family member, and yes, even the medical worker, witnessing the suffering day after day, it’s a little easier to see how that becomes the dying person’s option of choice if available. That’s the problem. It is available and the “safeguards” tend to be weak, the language in the protocols (purposely?) vague. The truth is, A doctor can order a dosage range on the I.V. pain med (usually morphine at end stage of cancer and other conditions, to just the “right”  level to depress respiration enough,to produce a hypoxic state that will speed the process of already-fading organs and systems. Just like abortion, before it was legal, it was already happening. Isn’t that how it always works? Think of anything that became legalized in recent memory. The rational goes, conveniently, “everybody does it, we may as well make it legal” — so they can tax it!

If God gave us free will about our eternal life, it seems He would be even more apt to give us the free will option with this temporal life. Of course, He does give us free will, otherwise we would be incapable of taking our own life. Permitting is not condoning.  Homicide is homicide, regardless who is the killer. What I can’t figure out is how homicide is illegal in all 50 states, and yet physician assisted suicide is legal in some?  Lawyers. Judges. Legislatures. Sinful flesh, free will. Where unregenerate man is free to sin, he will sin.

In this world of “my truth/your truth” I guess that makes sense to the depraved mind. To quote the infamous Jerry Nadler, “God’s will is no concern” to (someone whose religios worldview is secular humanism). All of the catastrophic weather events, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, these are warnings! A demonstration, a reminder that this world, and judgment, and vengeance belong to God. If you disagree, I have to warn you, reconsider. Change your thinking on this. Admit to yourself you stand guilty before His holiness. Put your faith in the death of Christ, a pure spotless sacrifice, his burial and resurrection, call upon the name of Jesus for the salvation He is offering because the offer will not remain open much longer. He would love for you to avoid the horrors that are about to begin on earth. He takes no joy in seeing you suffer the consequences for sins He has already paid for. But immutable spiritual law requires perfect justice, and God never changes. Unlike human law, God’s law is perfect. Submit now under His Grace, or submit when it is too late. You’re going to submit anyway, every knee will bow, every tongue will confess. Why not humble yourself and submit now willingly, take the salvation Jesus bought for you so you would not have to spend eternity in the misery of hell. Once He takes His own from here, it will be too late and you will regret your foolish pride immediately, but it will be too late, if you are reading these words now, and you decline the offer of redemption being extended to you in them.

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