It’s been almost a year since she finally moved forward with that surgery she needed for bilateral  100% occluded femoral arteries. It was postponed first out of indecision, then she didn’t want to be in the hospital when my brother had some complications from a surgery he had, then due to covid.

Ultimately her quality of life did not improve from having that surgery, and she was much worse off in the aftermath. Now she has an arrythmia and long runs of days when her pulses are hanging out in the mere 30’s, and her cardiologist wanted to send her to the nearest electrophysiology cardiologist two hours away, to consult for pacemaker.

Enough is enough. I spoke with her renal specialist and her primary. Both said almost word for word, the same thing, that a pacemaker might give her more time, but likely isn’t going to improve her quality of life either, considering her pain level, her stage 4 kidney failure (working at only 18-20% capacity) a leaky heart valve, widespread arterioschlerosis and progressing dementia.

Despite all that, she said she hopes to live a little longer. She is still present enough to grasp generally whats what. She said she’s ready to go, or stay. But just in the last 2 days she has started saying “I think I might be getting ready to go on out of here”, and telling me ” ya’ll love each other and take care of each other when I’m gone”.

Last week she saw someone in the kitchen when there was nobody there. She keeps talking about hearing trains, and wants to sleep all the time. All can be signs of nearing the end. But, it’s God’s business. She has hovered on that brink a few times since last November and then surprised us.

Also, my husband has a pituitary adenoma that is just over 1.1cm and so he has to see a neurosurgeon about that. The pituitary gland is a pea-sized endochrine gland that excretes several hormones and drives other endochrine system glands. It is located at the base of the brain beneath the hypothalamus.

IE it is a non-cancerous tumor in the brain that is wreaking havoc on his systems, and can require surgery or radiation if it gets very big. The tumor is bigger than the gland already. It can effect cortisol levels, BP, blood sugar, inflammation and thyroid, to name a few.

Prayers much appreciated as always. –STL