When I look back over my life, no matter what I faced, no matter how bleak my situation looked at any given juncture, and no matter how hopeless things appeared to be from any particular perspective, God did indeed work everything out for the best.
I am very thankful to be 58 years old and to have experienced all that I have experienced, as I stare into the oncoming headlights of 2023 on this dark road. To face it with peace and confidence that doesn’t rely upon self-delusion or mustered up “positivity”, but rather a settled knowing that in the midst of all the uncertainties, I have the singular certainty of God’s unwavering goodness.
As I head back to the hills of WV next week to spend time with Mom and oversee the arrangements for her care, I can honestly say that I am looking forward to whatever the year holds.
I want to see the Lord do big things. Things He wants to do in me, in my marriage, in our son’s lives, for His glory and for the eternal good of those He intends to minister to that we may not even have met yet. It’s not about what I will do. My most ardent hope is to be used by Him. I don’t care how. His ways are so far beyond anything I can imagine, that it would be futile to try and speculate. Just do what You want, Lord.
That’s the kind of prayer God marks down and we move on and forget, but He delights in fulfilling.
It was 66 degrees here in central VA yesterday. I took a walk and then sat on my front porch swing for 30 minutes with my eyes closed and just savored the warm breeze.
Mom’s dementia is increasing. She is in respite care at the Hospice house this week, and she gets anxious when out of the familiar surroundings of home. The nurses bathed and changed her and when they put her new linens on, she asked for her “other blanket she brought from home”. When they couldn’t locate another blanket, she got mad and accused the staff of stealing her blanket. Her lightweight small blankets don’t press on her like the big heavy ones which make it hard for her to move her weakened limbs in bed.
The nurse eventually called her grandson, who spoke to Mom and told he only sent one blanket. She also told heer grandson to tell Arthur, by Dad, to call her. But he died in 2012. Afterward, she was so ashamed for accusing them of stealing the blanket, that she cried. After she got her medication for anxiety, sge was clear again and remembered asking for Dad to call her.
She has asked me to pray for the Lord to take her home. She said she is spent and “doesn’t even have any change left”. So if you’re praying for her, you can pray accordingly.
The brain changes of dementia have regressed her to a childlike state that especially manifests itself in emotional extremes. But she can be as childlike delightful on the flip side and playful.
What does dementia feel like? A frightening loss of control and sense of lost-ness and bewilderment, I imagine. I have had enough psycho-physiological experiences of my own due to sleep disorders, to know how unpleasant and disconcerting it must be, and have enough memory and processing problems that, if Jesus weren’t coming soon, I would likely follow her same trajectory on that score.
Instead, I get to look forward to eternity with Jesus in heaven and the infinity of newness, and learning and discovering. She will have that too. It’s just the temporary affliction of this earthly tent that we call a body, that is subject to the curse, that suffers now. But not for long.
It’s dark, but the Day Star is dawning! That which we have hoped for. The moment when we exchange faith for sight, and we understand the meaning of the word glory! Can’t wait!
I hope whatever is on your plate today, you will know this same peace and excitement over your future beyond this world and it’s troubles. If you don’t have Jesus as your savior, talk to Him now. All of us are sheep gone astray. All of us are sinners soiled and tainted by both a state of sin we were born into, and also guilty of our own personal sins against a Holy God. Jesus never sinned. He has no sin of His own to pay for, therefore He gave Himself as a sacrifice to atone for yours and mine. Then defeated death and took up zHis own life again and sits at the right hand of God. In God’s court, we stand guilty before the Judge of all creation, but if we are willing to place faith in the sacrifice Jesus offered up, of His own atoning blood, we may receive a pardon and be declared “not guilty” because the law is satisfied and fulfilled by Jesus bearing our death sentence on our behalf. Not only that, but God looks at the books and attributes Christ’s righteousness to us. He reckons our sin-debt paid. To reckon is to reconcile, it is simple “accounting”. Balancing the checkbook so to speak. Why would God do this? Because He loves you! He created man because He wants a family.
Want to be adopted?
If you are reading this and have not taken God up on this offer, this unbelievable deal, don’t be a fool. Look around at this world. Look inside yourself. Want something different? Want something more? Want meaning? Want peace? Want to believe and don’t know how? Just talk to God. He hears. He sees. He’s waiting to hear from YOU!
“To face it with peace and confidence that doesn’t rely upon self-delusion or mustered up “positivity”, but rather a settled knowing that in the midst of all the uncertainties, I have the singular certainty of God’s unwavering goodness.” Amen! 💕