Exhibit “A”

I submit, dear reader, exhibit “A”:

What you see before you, is what once was, a leash.  And also a harness.

Exhibit “B”:


A mugshot of the accused, (note the telltale avoidance of eye contact)

Exhibit “C”:


A pair of formerly very nice leather loafers my husband had just inherited from his Pop.

I unfortunately do not have photos of the two pairs of my own shoes which he chewed to tiny bits, nor the two sets of earphones, one special-ordered for my hearing-loss, and the Ukelele my husband was building, all of which he also chewed like my great-grandpappy’s tobacco.

He has no toys left to chew.

This dog is not a puppy.

This is the poor, neglected dog, rescued from a hoarder-house, saved from a kill shelter by the SPCA, and adopted by my family a few months ago.  Back then, the SPCA staff were amazed at the fact that I got him to even come to me, much less walk on the leash.  This is the dog who ran behind the couch and stayed there for the first several hours, and who still hides anytime someone new comes in. Where did that dog go?  I want him back.

The new Sammy, he is an escape artist.

And here is exhibit “D” to prove that I take my pet-owning responsibilities seriously:

IMG_0972What you see here, is the culmination of three successive, though not all successful (obviously) attempts to contain this dog, chosen specifically for the low-rider nature of his stature as one such pet who might reasonably be contained in a fenced yard so as to avoid becoming a nuisance by roaming about the neighborhood causing general mayhem, (which thing I hold as a personal “pet peeve”!) and from being injured or killed by traffic.

Imagine my chagrin when in but one of yesterdays episodes of escapism, said pooch was found harassing one “dog of neighbor”, (the very same dog of our neighbor master of which I personally took frequent and heated issue with, for the roaming of his own beast) yes that is where we found Sammy, gleefully and harassingly flaunting his freedom whilst that “reformed roustabout” in question was oh-so-angelically tied up and minding his own business upon his own porch for once!!!!

Now, I understand that some dogs have an attention span of .007 seconds, but come on!  We’ve been through all of this.  The scolding, the immediate pointing out of what he did that he was not supposed to do, and the response was swift as ever in this case as well.  My son whisked him home, we put on his harness and attached it via the leash to the clothesline, so he could be out in the fresh air and sunshine, but safe from the traffic on our road. (This is when he chewed through the leash in above photo, in less than two minutes. (Is he a beaver in disguise?)  We live on a corner very close to the street, and at peak times, cars often ignore the speed limit and use that side street as a work-around to back-ups at the four-lane nearby. We don’t want Sammy to be road-kill. So that is why Sammy’s mug shot was taken of him in his kennel. Which is where he was when he chewed off the harness.

Oh, and this is not my neighbor, (it’s some guy named Tyler and I found the gif. on google image search from HERE), but it’s a pretty close approximation to my neighbor’s reaction to my latest containment efforts:

tyler laughing hard gif

See, he has two Pomeranians.(Different neighbor than the one mentioned above) And he had stories to tell.  And I do realize that this latest effort (if I am lucky) will merely slow Sammy down.  Because after he climbs the fence and roams around, he comes back and is all waggy, like “thanks for installing the new playground, Mom, I just LOOOVE it!!!!!!” (You have to imagine that in a sing-songy voice or it doesn’t go over.)

Conversation with neighbor:

Neighbor: <chuckling> “Fixing that fence again, huh?”

(we haven’t known each other long, they just moved in recently, so he doesn’t know my sense of humor.  When my response was “oh so serious, I saw the, “uh-oh, what am I dealing with here” look of concern flicker across his face)

Me: “You know, it is an embarrassment to all humankind, that a twelve-pound dog can get the best of four reasonably smart and resourceful humans, (at which point I crack just a bit of a smile)…but I raised two boys, and they know you don’t get past Mama, and this little dog is going to find out….”

Neighbor: “Aw, I don’t know!?! Dogs figure out they can escape, then you can’t ever contain them after that, when she had her puppies (indicating one of the Pom’s) I thought I was going to be all smart, and I put her in a playpen.  I figure, that keeps her separate from the kids, keeps her from carrying her puppies off somewhere in the house I don’t want them to be, but and when we are around, I wanted her to be able to come and go,  I put a little slit in that playpen, but I wove a shoe string into that slit, kept it tied off, when I wanted all of them to stay in there.  Well, don’t you know, next thing I see is that dog, got a puppy in her mouth, one at a time, there she was climbing up that thing, scaling-the-wall, and over the top she goes, puppy and all!”  (Another chuckle, and a sage shake of the head to go along with it).

It takes a big man to admit when he’s beat. Note that the Pomeranian won.

That is because she is a she.

Sammy, take note! Be afraid!