I am so thankful that God thinks of me, even when I am not thinking of Him. I am glad that He is doing things in my life, whether I am cognizant of it or not at the time.

When I can get myself out of the flesh oriented mindset that “this is my life”, and see myself from God’s perspective, as a work in progress, it makes all the difference in what happens around me.

Learning to live life in the Spirit takes practice. Fellowship helps, because you have other people who want the same thing, to please the Lord, and walk in His way.

I think the Lord will give us as much of the understanding, knowledge, peace, and presence of Himself as we want. The problem is, there are so many other things out there in life for us to want. And some people just have no restraint over their wanting.

Having lived with deep oppressive depression many years during my life, and having suffered the sleep deprevation and devastating fatigue of narcolepsy and apnea, I know how it is to have to fight my own mind, and body, and make myself forge ahead to do things that had to be done when all I wanted to do was crawl under a rock or even go home to be with the Lord, I had to learn this.

I learned that you can control your thoughts, choose what to dwell on. I learned that contrary to the worlds advice to “follow your heart”, the Bible says your heart is desperately wicked, we have to guide our heart, or more correctly, allow Him, and His Word to do so.

For me, a “do-er” by nature, the Lord had to strip me of many of my abilities to do, before he could teach me the lesson of yielding. I think yielding, rather the lack of it, is one of the biggest hurdles to being in God’s will that many of us Christians face.

I grew up in a Protestant faith tradition, that can tend to love piety, and focus little on grace.

I started out in my walk striving to be good. God had to introduce me to what dwells in my flesh. I learned painful lessons at a young age, but did not, could not appreciate that until I was much older and was a witness to a believer who discovered it much later in life, that is, the dark capabilities of this flesh. We can get to thinking we have “kept our own robes pure”, only to fall deeply into some sin or temptation because we thought we had achieved a degree of holiness that placed us beyond that temptation or sin. When I watched this person grapple, I came to appreciate the meaning of “theres no fool like an old fool”

I felt compassion and was able to speak grace to the brokenness of this person, because even when you have been a Christian for decades it is possible to not really and truly comprehend why Jesus had to die. Especially when you grew up in church, it is easy to think, ok, He died to save me, I believed, and thats old news. But then we somehow get it in our heads that once the initial saving is done, the rest of the walk is up to us. No. It doesn’t work like that at all. He sanctifies us, daily, every minute, every hour He is working making us into the likeness of Christ, creating the mind of Christ in us. He crucified our flesh in Himself when He was on the cross. We were hidden in Him on that day. But that rotten carcass won’t be shed completely until either the rapture or death.

Right now I am at my Mom’s, and we are making end of life decisions. One of the “assignments” God has given me many times has been that of ministering to someone and their family at the time of their end. I was a hospice nurse. I was not able to do it many years, but along with many other nurses who have worked in that field, I can testify to what a privilege it is to attend to a dying saint. “Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints, the Bible says, and I can hardly do justice to what it is like during that time, to witness God’s gentle ministrations and so, so personal and specific provisions, and to be a vessel through whitch the Holy Spirit provides some comfort, to watch Him bring together a family, or just the right staff, around a Christian, at that time, and see unbelievers witness for themselves, the holiness, of a loving Savior coming for His child, they may not understand it, they may even walk away chiding themselves for being moved by it, but moved, they are.

That valley of the shadow of death is a real place. And there is a stillness and peace that is unmistakable when the Spirit comes near and that veil between the realms starts to rustle and move with the wind of the Spirit.

Oh you can’t tell me there’s nothing after this life. No sir! I’ve touched it. I ‘ve seen it with spiritual eyes.

This flesh and this world are passing away, and good riddance! Jesus is coming back. Between the old and new Testaments, the Lord was “silent” 400 years.  Before Christ laid down His glory and took on the form of human flesh as a newborn baby, people looked for Messiah expectantly for over 2000 years. By the time He arrived, few were watching, few anticipating. From the time He was Crucified and rose again, until his second advent, Hosea 5:15-6:2 indicates there will also be about 2000 years. Again, today, few are watching, few are expectant. It’s a sign in and of itself. Along with the mockers and scoffers saying “Where is the promise of his coming? for since the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning of the creation” (2 Peter 3:4.)

Hosea5:15-6:2 I will return again to My place
Till they ^[a]acknowledge their offense.
Then they will seek My face;
In their affliction they will earnestly seek Me.”

6 Come, and let us return to the Lord;
For He has torn, but He will heal us;
He has stricken, but He will ^[b]bind us up.
² After two days He will revive us;
On the third day He will raise us up,
That we may live in His sight.

That third day refers to at the end of tribulation when Israel will recognize Him whom they pierced and mourn Him as one does an only son (Zech 12:10). When a “all Israel will be saved” (Rom 11:26-29, Isaiah 59: 20-21) and Christ will reign with perfect holiness.

It is known that historically the Crucifixion was either 30AD or 33AD. Fast forward 2000 years to 2030 or 2033. Subtract that 7th week of years of Daniel 9’s seventy weeks, and that puts the tribulation having to start somewhere between 2023 and 2026. Jesus said we won’t know the day nor hour, but we will recognize the season.

Mom knows where she is headed from here. God says our days are numbered. We are allotted so many, and it’s known to God since before the foundation of the world.

My life is a work of God. It’s not about what I accomplish, achieve, or accumulate. It’s not even about me at all, actually. God created us each for His own specific purposes. We humans don’t have a clue what “good” even is. We really don’t! For all our use of the word.

God is good. Apart from Him there is nothing that is good. Everything else is a cheap imitation, counterfeit, and substitute.

Are you tired? Wondering why you exist? Are you filled with shame? Is your heart bitter? Don’t believe this lying world. God is real, He did create you for better things. He is Holy, but He is also merciful. He is just, but He is also compassionate. He sees your heart. Whether it is black and hard, or broken and despairing. He took on flesh to bear your sin and reconcile you to Himself. Want to believe, but can’t? Ask Him to give you faith. Ask Him to show Himself to you.

He wants to forgive. He wants to heal. He will answer when you call on Him in sincerity and truth. His arms are open. He is a good, good God. He will not turn away any who come to Him.

Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. Matt 11:28-29

I am just a sinner, saved by Grace, learning to lean on Him.

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